


The Edge of Uncertainty

by writingramblr



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Based on a Tumblr Post, Environmentalism, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Lawyers, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romance, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:37:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingramblr/pseuds/writingramblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey has been a wanderer all her life, until she found her calling in Environmental Studies at NYU. For the first time in her life, she's got friends, and a pseudo family, but there's one thing that could tear it all down.</p><p>Kylo Ren has fought very hard to get to a place where he could call himself independent, and he's nearly forgotten the name he forsook long ago, unfortunately, his past is about to catch up to him.</p><p> </p><p>[title courtesy of 'betakeratin' - it is perfect, thank you so much]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the start of the madness is here ---> http://spacepint.tumblr.com/post/135632369190

Every time Rey returns home to her dorm, from an organized and executed protest, her phone buzzes in her pocket, with another prerecorded message in her voice mailbox threatening a lawsuit.

The law firm of Huxley & Ren has to be the biggest group of ass kissing and dick sucking lawyers for big Oil companies that Rey had ever heard of, and she suspected one of them always made the call.

Or pressed the button to send the robo-call message.

 

Rey had barely just finished her junior year at her progressive and free thinking college, but she already knew exactly where she wanted to work when she graduated.

Greenforce.

The founder Leia Organa could be called just one of her many heroes, and if the woman who helped start the entire thing offered her a job, even just an internship, Rey would never say no. The company was started along with help from Mrs. Organa’s twin brother Luke and her husband Han Solo, formerly known for his show piloting skills.

 

Rey currently has two best friends and they also happen to be each other’s roomies. They live directly across the hall from her, Finn and Poe Dameron.

Attached at the hip, but always happy to listen to her practice speeches or word chants for the protests, she doesn't know what she’d do without them.

Growing up in foster care had been rough. But she had managed to find her own way okay so far.

 

Finn asked her one day if she was ever gonna double date them, and she was rendered almost speechless, until he clarified.

With a date of her own.

Unless it's something she thinks she'd want?

It's shelved for later. But she remembered shaking her head.

 

She can barely control her own life much less imagine fitting someone else into it.

 

Until she accidentally picked up the wrong coffee at Starbucks and she had already taken a sip when she noticed the scrawl on the side read 'Ben' and not 'Rey.'

*

He changed his name after he received the job offer straight out of school.

It was the dream job and had all the perks.

There was only one problem.

His family.

The legacy of the Skywalkers was _Earth_ First, and though it was a noble cause, there wasn't always much money in it.

That had been the only reason his father had remained a pilot as long as he did.

So when he told them the news, they did exactly what he expected. They told him to turn it down.

To wait for something else to come along. Something more… selfless.

He did what he did best.

He defied them. He left and never looked back.

 

It only took a week before he regretted it, and phoned his Uncle Luke to ask for his advice.

 

Luke told him time would help them accept the thought their son was growing up and choosing his own fate.

They never called him.

But his mother sent a card on his birthday and Christmas, and if he wasn't mistaken, he'd seen his father lurking around the building where he worked a couple times, but he never came inside.

 

It became a habit for his co workers and partners to call him his new name, without a stutter of confusion.

So he grew accustomed to it.

But when he got up early, and stopped by the little coffee shop just a handful of blocks from work to have his morning indulgence of coffee, he always gave his true name.

He wasn't sure why.

Sentiment probably.

 

He'd remembered coming there as a child for hot chocolate or Apple juice. It had stuck.

They'd always known him as Ben.

So he was.

 

One morning they didn't call his name, but he saw his drink set on the counter.

 

Before he could approach and retrieve it, some stranger had plucked it up and taken a sip.

He prepared to unleash hell and annoyance, but when he reached their side, he froze.

 

It was _her_.

 

The girl from the protests.

The one Hux had been insisting on sending threats to.

Clearly they didn't work.

If anything the protests had doubled in size and frequency over the last quarter.

 

He knew her face well.

They had a poster of commonly sighted students on a wall pronounced ' ** _unwelcome_** ' and for security to be called at once if spotted in the building.

 

She looked up at him and seemed to realize what she'd done in about three seconds.

 

Her eyes darted to the cup, which her lips were still attached too, and she quickly yanked it away.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh god."

There was a very tall man in a well fitted suit looking down at her, with pitch black hair that swooped over his forehead and piercing eyes nearly as dark as his hair.

Rey gulped. The man’s drink also tasted faintly of vanilla, but while hers was usually bitter and sweet, his was all sweetness and light. Light from the whipped cream and milk.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.”

In the blink of an eye, his face shifted from the blazing stare, relaxing into a calm expression, and he shrugged broad shoulders, before a carefree grin spread over his mouth.

Rey wondered if she’d imagined the fire in his eyes.

“No biggie. I’ll take your drink.”

Rey choked back a nervous laugh.

Her actual drink was an incredibly potent blend of four espresso shots and vanilla syrup, topped by whipped cream.

She’d only taken his drink by mistake because her caffeine craving was incredibly intense after the all nighter she’d pulled.

Suddenly she hoped she didn’t look as exhausted as she felt.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea…”

He snatched up her drink which had just come down the line, and took a hasty sip, eager to prove otherwise, she supposed.

The wince on his face and clear disgust that followed was a thing of beauty.

She did laugh now.

“Told you so.”

He exhaled swiftly and held it out to her, and she gladly handed over his drink in exchange for her own.

“What is in that?”

The way he stared at the cup it was as if some horrid creature resided inside, who had simultaneously spit in his mouth and also crawled down his throat.

Rey took a sip and tried to look innocent,

“Four extra shots.”

The man nearly doubled over laughing, though it was a raspy sounding noise, as if he didn’t make it often.

“You’re joking. Why the hell would you need to drink so much caffeine?”

Rey shrugged, and before she could reply her usual snarky answer, “Because college, that’s why,” the strange man was putting his hand on the middle of her back, guiding her away from the sudden influx of people with one purpose, retrieving their drink.

The instant they were a couple yards away from the crowd, his hand dropped instantly.

A ghost of the touch lingered, and Rey took a shaky sip of her drink, convincing herself she’d simply imagined the way her nerves had flared to life under his hand.

*

“So tell me what a woman like you is doing, cramming so much energy into one drink this early in the day?”

Kylo found himself fascinated by her, watching her every move and reading her best he could. The little shiver she’d experienced from his spontaneous hold was intriguing, and the slight flush to her cheeks told him she was still trying to form a response to his former version of the same question. Her hair was a golden brown and pulled back into three little buns, providing a unique hairstyle, with curling wisps escaping around her ears. Green eyes flitted from his hair to his suit and he was amused at how she looked at him without any hesitation.

He had towered over her, and probably scared her half to death at first glance but then he’d always been irrationally annoyed by people who took things that were his.

Drinks, food, toys, clothing, and even little things like pens, to this day, bugged the shit out of him.

He’d always been chastised as a child to _learn to share_ , and _not be so possessive_ , but he couldn’t help it.

The steady ticking of his watch, hidden just beneath his jacket sleeve, was a constant reminder he was wasting precious time standing around the café talking to her about nothing, but he couldn’t give a rats ass.

Her smile could probably power the entire world for a day.

“It’s the only way I really can make it through the day, to be quite honest.”

Her little shrug and tilt of the head made him wish he could stay and talk with her all day, but alas, time was money.

“Well,” he ducked his head to peer at her cup, as if he didn’t already know her name, “ _Rey_ , it was a pleasure to meet you, but I’m afraid I’ve got a meeting to be late for.”

A hand clapped to her mouth and her beautiful green eyes widened slightly in shock,

“Oh god, have I been babbling on and kept you from work? You won’t get in trouble will you?”

Kylo smiled tightly at that thought, as if he could, though Hux would certainly be delighted to hear he’d been booted.

“Not possible. I made myself late by letting a stranger steal my coffee.”

The wink he threw her was sloppy and unpracticed, but it called forth another blush, so he knew he had done something right.

“Well, _Ben_ , I hope traffic doesn’t keep you too long.”

She didn’t even have to sneak a look at his cup.

She’d remembered.

There was nothing more to be said, so he had already turned away and then he was walking out the door.

 

Simply the memory of her gentle smile helped him through the retched cesspool of a day.

*

Rey found herself grinning randomly in the middle of her religious studies class. At the pages of her history book.

The tall dude with the floppy dark hair and surprisingly pretty face looked way too similar to the textbooks idea of Jesus. Well, if Jesus wore a suit that looked nearly as expensive as Rey’s car.

Then again, most guys with long hair and pretty faces reminded Rey of Jesus. Including one of Poe’s favorite musicians.

It was her way of being blasphemous and not taking the whole class too seriously.

Finn told her it was because she secretly had a thing for guys with longer hair than her own.

She’d usually punch his shoulder and shove him away with a laugh while Poe looked on in amusement at their antics.

 It didn’t hit her until she was walking out of her class and headed back to the dorms that she had absolutely no way to ever see Ben again.

In the super modern era they lived, she could have just gotten his Snapchat, or his Twitter handle, but no, she’d gone off and completely spaced out.

The urge to smack herself with her history text book was very strong.

All that kept her from doing it was the realization it would make her forehead pink and bring about questions.

She had a protest to plan.

No distractions.

Maybe it was for the best that Ben would remain a mystery.

She could already hear Finn and Poe laughing about something, and the smell of nachos was wafting down the hall.

Rey grinned, despite herself.

They always could cheer her up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> moral of the story kids, don't take the next drink until they call your name...it might not be yours. 
> 
>  
> 
> and yes drink choices are ironic ;)
> 
>  
> 
> the musician mentioned is of course...Hozier. He's sexy jesus to a T amiright?


	3. Chapter 3

“What happened to you this morning?”

Pam Smith, Kylo’s very clever and quick witted secretary hissed at him as he returned from his brief lunch break, where he’d more or less jammed a granola bar down his throat, in lieu of leaving the building and risking getting distracted.

“There was a line at Starbucks.”

He answered smoothly, avoiding her eyes.

She might have been platinum blond, but joke about her intelligence and she could crush you flat.

Secretary was really an understatement. She was more of his right hand, his personal assistant, and if the day came, would stand by him when Huxley decided to try anything stupid or mutinous.

“Really.”

It wasn’t a question.

She didn’t believe him for a second.

“Yes. Have I got any missed calls?”

She pursed her lips briefly in annoyance, before shaking her head,

“Not a thing, then again, you were only gone about fifteen minutes, _this_ time.”

“Great. Thanks.”

He swept into his office, and pulled the door shut behind him, exhaling a long shaky breath.

It was quite a different thing to observe from afar than to see up close.

Meeting Rey had thrown him for a loop.

As if she’d been an asteroid that struck him, tossing him out of orbit, and falling closer and closer to a black hole.

He’d lied to her from the very instant he set his eyes upon her.

Sure, _Ben_ was real, or had been once, but as it went, he’d basically worn a mask for her protection.

If he’d even done his usual smooth talk and handed over his business card, as he was tempted to do usually when a woman caught his interest, she’d have thrown the coffee in his face.

Both his and hers most likely.

He collapsed in his chair and spun until he faced the window, cloaked in the growing darkness after the sun had more than set, and he could see the outlines of the sidewalk and parking lot that she usually led her protests in.

There was talk, whispers really, that another would happen tomorrow.

No more serious than the usual, picketing, yelling, chanting, and the occasional speech from the supreme leader, Rey herself.

Well, he smirked to himself; she probably would have hated to be thought of in such terms. She saw herself as a crusader, a fighter for the righteous causes, a true rebel.

While he stood for everything she despised and against all she held dear.

How tragic it was that he had ended up experiencing the exact opposite feeling he should have towards her.

Instead of looking forward to sending the messages that would normally cease any sort of protests, threats of litigation, he’d delegated it to Huxley, insisting he wasn’t nearly petty enough for such a thing.

As the evidence against the protesters, and indeed, the entire movement his parents supported was beginning to grow out of hand, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it stifled and stilted in piles of ‘junk.’

By the time Pam was tapping his door, indicating she was about to leave, the sky had turned completely pitch black and all that illuminated the room was the gleaming moon and stars and harsh streetlights.

He remained there for a long while, simply looking out at nothingness, until exhaustion claimed him.

*

Rey found herself clutching her sides, sore being the mildest term for how she was feeling from laughter.

Poe managed to turn the most innocent of Christmas carols into the dirtiest love song one could imagine.

Finn was just as bad, sitting beside him providing backup vocals and sound effects as needed.

“I should not have had so much beer. I feel like I’m going to float away. I still have a speech to write. Shame on you!”

She gave Finn a mocking glare and Poe actually giggled. The fucking dork.

“Yes ma’am fearless leader.”

“I’m being serious.”

Finn nodded, and nearly fell over.

He’d had about ten times as much booze as her, preferring Jack and Coke, heavy on the Jack.

“You’re always serious Rey, that’s why you’re still holding out and staying solo. Cause if you smiled at anyone, you’d have them on their knees.”

Poe was nodding his head as if in agreement, and Rey felt suddenly sobered by the thought.

“What?”

Rey blinked at them both in confusion.

“You have no idea do you?”

Poe added suddenly.

Finn managed to focus on her and his hand was heavy and warm on her arm,

“Rey, you command the room, the lot, and the people when you speak. It’s like watching a natural phenomenon, and this is coming from a guy who does that. Stars and stuff.”

She waved a hand at them both and felt the room begin to spin.

Despite all that, truth or not, she always had so much doubt.

With all she’d done, organized and helped bring about, she still felt as if she was dragging, being held back, and it frustrated her to no end.

“You’ll get wrinkles.”

Poe’s reaching up blindly to stroke her forehead, where the little lines had formed and her heart gave a pang.

He doesn’t mean anything untoward by it, but the echoes in her mind are of empty homes and cold rooms.

She didn’t grow up with anyone telling her anything but how she didn’t belong and wouldn’t do any better than to just keep her head down and survive.

It had taken many dozens of months to fight that voice off and find her own. Even still she had times where she drowned in the despair of the possibility of failure, but she was no longer alone.

She was surrounded by buffers against the storm of depression.

It would not drag her under the waves.

Not on Poe and Finn’s watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pam Smith is almost Phasma right?
> 
>  
> 
> #itried


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapter to celebrate the fact i have FINISHED writing this fic. so expect regular updates !

_She stands defiant, hair falling from the messy triple ponytail buns coiled on the back of her head, and she has a blue hue of a glow, or maybe it simply was the reflection of liquid lightening she’s got harnessed in her hand._

_He’s on the ground before her, silent as the grave._

_He won’t beg, he won’t._

_She steps closer, and there’s a pained ache like he’s never known crawling up his side._

 

Kylo Ren jerked awake, a cold sweat drying on his forehead, and his neck with the crick only from falling asleep in his desk chair.

Sunlight was streaming through the windows, illuminating what was a cave last night, and if he wasn’t mistaken, the smell of fresh brewed coffee wafts right up his nose.

He spun around his chair to find Pam standing right in front of his desk.

“Jesus.”

  
“Nope. Just me. You’ve got a million missed calls now. Enjoy your night?”

She stares pointedly at his mussed hair and there are probably rings under his eyes.

He can’t remember the last time he spent the night at work.

“Delightful.”

He reached for the coffee and ignored the stack of papers in her hand.

“Also you should know, there’s a large parade pulling around and into the parking garage across Seventh. Hux thinks it’s another protest.”

Kylo takes a long deep sip of the coffee, which would normally have been far too strong, but can be called lifeblood in that moment, and does his best not to react.

“Should I have the police on standby?”

Kylo had long since drained the cup, and it crumples in his hand like the paper its derived from, before he tossed it aside.

“No. That’s an overreaction. Ignore Hux.”

Pam nodded.

“I think it’s being led by the same girl. Enemy number one to us…”

She trails off, and Kylo lets the jab pass by.

He’s not stupid.

He can see what she’s doing.

Testing him.

“I’ll take care of this, thank you.”

The stack of papers made an enormous thump as it alighted on his desk.

The instant the door had slammed shut, he was at the window.

His palm flattened against the glass, still cold from the morning, brings him the focus that coffee wouldn’t have for a few more minutes.

The crowd that had begun to gather three floors down could be called impressive.

But he’s seen better.

He gets the impression that day’s meeting was improvised or perhaps thrown together with half the normal care.

A smile crept onto his face.

She doesn’t look quite like his dream Rey did, but she’s just as gorgeous without fury etched on her face.

She has taken her position in the middle of the crowd, and she’s started speaking.

Never before has he wanted to be among a group of pseudo hippies so much.

*

Rey wanted to be completely in the zone.

She did.

But every now and then, she’d pause in her speech, and look around the crowd.

Poe and Finn had no clue what she was doing, other than pausing for dramatic effect, which she often did anyway.

She was looking for _him._

The chance was slim, she knew.

Didn’t stop her from hoping.

Above them, there was a giant gaudy building of pure steel and glass and so chock full of money it probably smelled like paper, and could catch fire if a match was lit to the air.

Also it was filled with people who thrilled Rey little more than dirt on the bottom of her shoe.

She’d written an email to Leia Organa the night before, strung out on nervous energy, and possibly side effects from the all nighter and then quadruple shot latte.

There probably wasn’t any such position as she had inquired about, but she’d be damned if she didn’t try.

Poe and Finn had passed out long before her, holding hands like a couple of losers.

She’d taken a video of them and drawn hearts all around them before posting it on her Snap story.

Never let it be said Rey couldn’t be a fun social friend when she wasn’t crusading against law firms bent on protecting people who’d rather strip the Earth for parts than preserve it.

Eventually, there was only a paragraph left, and still no sign of the guy who was basically the epitome of the latest song on the radio she found herself rocking out to.

When the applause reached a crest, she found herself beaming out at the small crowd, and Poe and Finn caught her eye, mouthing ‘You go girl’ at her, only making her smile wider.

She couldn’t resist a final look up at the building, where the sun sparkled off of the glass and almost blinded her.

If she could join Greenforce, she could have a chance at making a real difference.

Starting with them, with the duo that’d been threatening lawsuits for almost six months, after she led a protesting line around their front doors.

She’d retreated to neutral ground, but they sure hadn’t.

Poe and Finn pulled her into a sandwich hug and she felt like a success, just for a little bit again.

  
“Pizza?”

They spoke at the same time, and though it was a question, it really wasn’t.

“I’m always a slut for pizza, you know that.”

She cuffed them both on the ear, and Finn retaliated with a tickle aimed at her ribs, while Poe snatched away her notes and started running towards her car, parked across the street and in front of the little coffee shop from the other day.

“Need anything here Rey?”

Finn’s tone was serious as could be, but his face was beginning to crumble.

Poe waggled his eyebrows and bit his lip at her,

“Yes, she needs a hot tall drink of that sexy man she let get away Wednesday morning.”

“Now _I’m_ thirsty,” Finn pouted with a hint of a whine.

 

Rey did her best to tune them out, while simultaneously glancing inside the shop to see if there was any sign of _him._

No luck.

Poe meanwhile had begun to dance along the fragile PDA line of rules Rey had put down.

“Okay boys if you’re gonna do that, I _will_ go inside.”

They both waved her off, and proceeded to use her car as a leaning spot.

She rolled her eyes good naturedly and pushed open the door, the rush of cool air and the familiar ding of the bell somewhat relaxing.

Ordering her usual, minus two shots, she hung back, staring at the small selection of music and sweet treats.

Poe and Finn both had a weakness for dark chocolate, and there were almonds and coffee beans covered in the stuff calling her name.

She glanced up, prepared to ask to edit her order when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye.

He was so dark, naturally he blended into the background almost.

Ben sat in the back of the coffeeshop, leaning against the window facing the opposite street from where she was parked, a large manila folder in his hands. But it wasn’t what had his attention.

He was staring over at the lingering students from her rally.

Her skin flushed all at once and her stomach clenched before the rolling sensation of butterflies began to take flight.

_Had he seen her?_

Had he heard any of it?

Suddenly her palms were clammy, and the idea of trying to keep chocolate from melting was too challenging.

Her name was called for her coffee, and his head turned her way.

She looked down at the floor the instant she was caught staring, and her face was definitely hot.

Good thing she’d ordered her usual iced instead of hot.

She was going to need it.

Thanking the barista, she took the chilled cup and wrapped both hands around it as she moved past the counter to where he was sitting, well, slouching was more like it.

His jacket was off, hanging off the back of his chair, and his white shirt seemed to emphasize his shoulders and arm muscles so much they might as well have had neon signs pointed at them.

Or maybe that was all in her head.

“Hi.”

Rey ducked her head and found the side of her coffee cup fascinating as she waited for him to keep going.

They’d spoken at once, and that left them at an impasse.

Luckily, or unluckily as it were, Ben continued.

“What were you talking about over there?”

His smile was gentle, and his tone was not teasing.

Still, Rey was suddenly embarrassed about the whole thing. As if she’d been caught doing something terrible.

“Just some stuff for my thesis project.”

Ben gestured to the empty seat across from him, and Rey’s heart thudded in her ears at the implication.

Forget Poe and Finn, she had the car keys.

She sat.

A sip of her coffee was necessary before elaborating, and she couldn’t help the smile that overtook her lips as she did.

She was passionate about it, and it always showed.

Ben’s stare was intense, and he didn’t say a word, he simply nodded at her cues and folded his hands under his chin to better focus on her.

She was mildly curious about what exactly he did, all those papers looked dreadfully boring, and clearly by the way he’d been ignoring them, they were, but she was on a roll now, and she led into her most recent adventure.

“So I’m hoping to hear back from them soon. I mean, either way, good or bad, working at Greenforce or not, I’ll have made progress.”

All at once, Rey noticed his expression tighten.

His soft smile froze, and his eyebrows twitched closer.

So he knew of them?

“It’s a decent company now.”

Rey bristled slightly at the suggestion that it hadn’t always been a worthy business.

However, there was no way to tell how invested Ben was in anything to do with her cause. After all, Poe and Finn simply went for support to her protests, and Poe drove a pickup for god’s sake.

She wasn’t about to judge him if he didn’t actively believe in global warming or worry about the ozone layer.

“It would be a job I wouldn’t regret, and I’d wake up every day loving my job.”

She countered, hands clinging to the sweaty plastic cup, as if it were her lifeline.

She felt like she was drowning, it was all going wrong.

But in a split second, Ben was focused back on her.

His face no longer looked distant, but instead jealous and with a tinge of sadness,

“That would be nice, I’d imagine.”

Rey felt his foot bump hers under the small table, and she jumped.

The result was his chair scraping backwards, and putting a decent gap between them.

“Sorry.”

Ben shrugged,

“Comes with the territory of being so tall.”

Rey didn’t want to be rude and simply gawk, but now that he’d mentioned it, she recalled how he’d towered over her before and now, he was practically folded into the corner, but somehow made it look utterly effortless and comfortable.

Until she’d intruded and thrown off the equilibrium.

“So what is that?”

She nodded towards the folder, and he winced, as if he’d been slapped.

“Work.”

Rey bit her lip to keep from snorting,

“I know that. Obviously you’re too old to be in school…”

Ben’s gaze snapped back to her,

“Is that so? How old do you think I am?”

How had he done that?

Flipped the conversation back to her?

Making her do all the talking?

She crossed her arms, feeling the cold drink beginning to worm its way through her body, chilling her significantly.

“Twenty-eight, to thirty-two. You have a young face, so it’s hard to guess.”

Going by his slow nod and the hint of a smile, she was close.

“I’ll be thirty next month.”

The confirmation didn’t do anything to dull the small flicker of attraction that could easily turn into a full blown wildfire in Rey’s chest. In fact, she’d only ever been with men who had half a decade, at least, on her.

Not that she was planning on just ‘ _getting with_ ’ him.

He was smirking now, and she blustered, indignant,

“What?”

“You look disappointed. Am I too old for you?”

Now it was her turn to grin, and she caught the edge of her bottom lip on her canines,

“Not at all. You’re almost too young actually.”

She teased, and he threw back the jab just as fast,

“So you’re what, twenty-five, six?”

His eyes grazed over her, dipping down to her waist and even her legs, whatever wasn’t hidden behind the tiny table and she wasn’t terribly surprised to feel the ember heat up.

“Twenty-four actually.”

She stuck her chin out slightly, nose rising, and his face split into a chuckle.

Not as rough that time.

As if he’d been getting some practice in.

“Well we’ve established our ages then, what’s next? Favorite colors and such?”

Rey cocked a brow at him, ignoring how her coffee was sweating considerably less than she was herself,

“You’re asking me? Like I’m the expert on dating? I’m the science nerd. Think again.”

Ben leaned forward suddenly, and the distance between them shrunk thricefold.

He was so close she could see flecks of gold in his brown eyes,

“I think you know exactly what you’re doing. Nerd or not.”

His gaze dropped to her lips, and for just an instant, Rey had a mad desire to kiss or be kissed…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect TONS of references to the movie, some subtle, some not so much. <3


	5. Chapter 5

She was absolutely mesmerizing.

He’d deftly avoided the entire matter of work by turning the conversation around, and she’d not even noticed, or protested.

He knew if he pulled the strings just right, said the right things and provided the correct cues he could probably have her in his bed that night, but how would that be fair?

He wanted her on her own time, in her own territory if need be, and without regret.

But for that moment, when she matched his movement, closing in and licking her lips, he almost broke.

“Rey… I think those guys are trying to get your attention.”

He looked just beyond her and behind, at the pair waving ridiculously at them.

Rey started slightly, and turned around, before her head fell into her hands.

“Oh my god.”

She mumbled into her fingers, and he smirked.

 

“I take it you know them?”

He tamped down his disappointment with a long sip of his now bone chilled coffee, and she’s shaking her head, messing her perfectly tight single bun up just enough that he wishes he could have been the reason for it.

  
“I wish I could say no… but they’re my best friends in the whole world.”

The way her face lights up at the words tells him sincerity can be applied to fellow people.

Kylo Ren had never had a close friend in all his life, since he split from his family, and left his name behind.

Pam could be almost that, but ally would be better than friend to describe her.

“Go on then. We’ll meet again, I’m sure of it.”

Rey half stands, half leans on the table, for once towering over him.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want my number?”

She really doesn’t know what she’s doing does she?

Her eyes have widened just slightly, and her head tilts a fraction of a degree.

Saying no to that face could be called one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

“I think we should keep the mystery alive.”

She frowns slightly at that, perfectly kissable wrinkles forming between sculpted brows, but then she shrugged,

“Okay Mister Ben, almost thirty years old. Whatever you say. See you around.”

She doesn’t blow him a kiss, but she might as well have for how long her gaze lingers, despite the many things in her way, chairs, tables, other people, and then the door itself.

He watched her go until she was out of sight, and then he glared down at the manila folder.

“Fuck you.”

*

That night he avoided going back to work, so he walked home with the overloaded file under his arm. He almost wished someone had tried to mug him, take that horrid thing, beat him senseless and leave him alone to die.

The way she made him feel was extremely frustrating and more than just a little on edge.

It was only about five minutes after he got to his apartment that he gave in to the urge to take a long hot shower.

Fate was going to bring her back to him, whenever it decided and wherever, and he would not let himself be so easily distracted by her beauty and effortless ways she stirred up his emotions.

He ignored his arousal, which had spiked as he’d stood under the pounding jets of water, loosening his shoulder muscles and relaxing him slightly even as the rest of him grew tense and hard.

Finally, finally there was bliss as he brought his hand down, slippery with the water, and he touched himself.

It only took about thirty seconds before he was fully hard, and panting, pressing his forehead against the tile, seeking out a way to cool off, bracing himself for his climax.

He barely had to bring her up in his mind, just the thought of her smiling at him from where she’d stood by the table, imaging an entirely different scenario, one where she’d come home with him, and demanded he get on his knees before her, and he was gasping out his release onto the black walls of the shower.

His entire apartment was shrouded in dark, black and red and so much leather it could be called an addiction.

The heat of the shower was not the reason he was shaky and breathless.

When he climbed out and dried off, he felt no less lost and more than a little helpless.

She was simply not going to go away, not going to leave his thoughts in peace until he knew either way if she’d have him.

But the thought of her knowing the truth, the very good possibility that she’d turn and never look back was almost too painful to bear.

It was stupid. He knew it.

Some slip of a girl, hardly out of high school, with wide eyed ideals and a kind heart was driving him insane.

The ringing of his cell phone didn’t make him jump, but it was a welcome intrusion.

He still answered with a growl when he saw the caller ID.

“What?”

“ _Where is the file on the protestors? Pam said you got it yesterday. But you never came back from lunch.”_

Kylo rolled his eyes,

“I didn’t feel well. Took a half day.”

No apologies were needed for his ‘partner.’

  
“ _Well I hope you’re back to one hundred percent tomorrow morning, we’ve got a meeting with the board, and CEO Snoke will be there. Are you listening?”_

“Of course I’ll be there.”

“ _Good.”_

The line clicked in his ear and Kylo tossed the phone across the room, relishing the crunch it made as it smacked into the wall.

One of these days… he was going to punch Hux in his smug face.

Their CEO was one of the most ferocious lawyers in the entire business, and he’d gleefully shut down whole companies who defied him, by bankrolling their competition under the table, and watching them slowly bleed out.

Kylo liked to think he could never be like that, and he knew the fact was he didn’t really have it in him. It was just a job.

His family might not see it that way, but it was true.

If he could make money doing something he loved, like Rey planned on, he would.

The fact was, he didn’t know what he loved to do.

He didn’t even think he could love anything.

Wide awake, staring up at the ceiling, he convinced himself the right thing to do would be to actively fight fate or destiny or whatever, and never see Rey again.

If there was another protest, he’d turn the other way.

He’d find another place to get coffee, one where they didn’t use his real name.

His old name.

The name that promised family dinners and warm smiles, and the name that was about being noble.

When the clock read 4:00 am in LED red numbers, his eyes finally fell shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this little bit of stuff was enough to tide you guys over. slow burn means slow burn i'm afraid.


	6. Chapter 6

There was a very official looking envelope sitting on the kitchen table when Rey got back to the dorms from her English class, and Finn and Poe were being extremely weird.

“What’s going on?”

She set her bag down and walked over to the stack of mail, forcibly ignoring said envelope.

“That’s from the same firm that’s been harassing you…isn’t it?”

Poe spoke up, and Rey tried to fight the shiver that crept down her spine.

“Is it?”

The break in her voice betrayed her.

They hadn’t done anything illegal, unless you counted gathering less than one hundred yards from the building trespassing.

It wasn’t like there was a restraining order.

Finn bit his lip and crossed his arms,

“Rey, I think you should open it.”

The bills and fluff and junk mail slipped out from her hands, which were shaking slightly.

“I don’t think I can. I’m a little worried, honestly. That could be a warrant for my arrest.”

Poe shook his head,

“That’s bullshit. If they try anything, I’ll get my aunt Maz on them so fast…”

Finn smacked his shoulder,

“Maz isn’t your aunt, she’s _mine_. Stop that.”

Poe just gave him a look, and Rey felt her mouth twitching towards a smile.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, they managed to cheer her up anyway.

They were so ridiculous.

Eventually she reached for it, and both Poe and Finn held their breath as she slit open the envelope.

The words “ **Severe Action** ” and something about “ **Consequences** ” jumped out at her.

Then the official sheet fell out from behind the letter signed by Hux and Ren Co. She ducked down to retrieve it and her eyes widened.

It was exactly what she’d suspected.

A restraining order.

She was banned from within a mile of the building and surrounding blocks.

The weight on her shoulders actually lifted slightly.

“Well, I guess I’ve got to find a new place to get coffee.”

She managed to joke.

Poe and Finn immediately swooped in to hug her.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Finn was saying, as Poe stroked her hair, his version of being comforting.

“Of course, yeah.”

The letter outlined that it was just one of many steps about to be taken, but she crumpled that up.

No point in worrying them any more than necessary.

*

After a fitful night of sleep, Rey rose with the sun and decided to go out in search of a new coffee shop. She didn’t want to risk jail time because of the love of caffeine and something as ridiculous as brand loyalty.

The morning air was crisp and cool as she walked along the road, and with her mood music humming in her ears, she almost walked right past the shop as she came upon it.

Jakku Java was the name, and according to Yelp, it was a local favorite.

She wasn’t sure why she’d never been to it before, maybe simply because she’d never thought she’d need a little mom and pop place.

Of course she could have gone to a different starbucks, but it was the principal of the thing.

She pulled open the door, hurried inside and as a result nearly walked into the customer standing in front of her, at the back of the line.

“Oops, sorry I-”

Her apology died in her throat and she froze midway between yanking out her headphones.

The man turned around to look at her and revealed himself to be none other than Ben.

Rey was blushing from embarrassment already and now faced with the fact that it was him, here, of all places.

“…Hi.”

His dark eyes widened and he took her in, hair messy from sleep, thrown back into a ponytail, just one, and lazy day clothes making her look as if she’d simply rolled out of bed in search of coffee.

It was halfway to the truth but still, she liked to think of herself as always well put together…ish.

“Rey…”

His voice was surprisingly gentle, despite the fact he looked as if she’d startled him in addition to nearly knocking him over. Then again, he was a sturdy guy, tall, and strong looking. She couldn’t have even shifted him from his stance if she wanted.

“What on earth are you doing here?”

She sounded accusing, she knew it. But she couldn’t help it.

It was weird.

Like he was following her.

“I was in the mood for something different, and a little cheaper than the usual.”

The easy smile he gave her seemed forced, and too strange on his face, like an odd fitting pair of shoes on small feet.

“Right.”

“As much as I would love to stay and chat, I have a meeting I cannot miss this morning.”

Ben moved forward swiftly, placing his order and then stepping to the side out of her way.

Rey gave her order almost half asleep, wondering how sincere he really was about that.

Then she frowned.

He had another meeting?

Two in that many days?

What did he do?

She opened her mouth to ask, but then his hand was resting on her shoulder, gentle, warm, but an insistent press.

“Take care.”

He picked up his coffee, nodded to her, and then was sweeping away, out the door, and down the street before she could even blink.

Maybe he was embarrassed about his work.

Interning somewhere exceedingly boring would probably do that.

Judging by the winsome look on his face when she’d talked about having a job she loved to look forward to working at every day, he likely was stuck in some dead end, constantly draining job.

Taking her coffee and marveling at the delicious flavor, she went over to one of the comfy couch seats and plopped down, putting her feet up and looking over at the rest of the patrons.

The morning was hers.

No class until after noon.

She wondered if she’d hear back from Greenforce soon, and her foot started tapping with the nervous energy as she imagined how the form letter, or email, would read.

Somehow they’d have to know about her restraining order, so they’d probably consider it a criminal record.

‘ _You’re a champion of the cause, but just not what we’re looking for right now. Apply again in a few years when you’ve straightened yourself out._ ’

At least, that’s how it sounded in her head.

Melodramatic?

Not hardly.

Rey giggled a bit at herself, and took another long sip.

Though it had been a bit of a rushed meeting, she’d noticed how Ben’s long face seemed even longer, and dark smudges like bruises had rested under his eyes.

He couldn’t be sleeping well, looking like that.

Not that she was any better, having only slept at all thanks to the vitamins she’d taken around three that morning in desperation.

They’d worked perfectly, but left her groggy and unfocused, hence the walking to get the coffee.

She’d been afraid she was too sleep hung-over to drive.

The last thing she needed was a ticket of some kind to add to her record.

She grimaced at nothing as she thought about that.

How dare they?

A stupid pair of lawyers who thought they could ruin her life were going to tell her what to do?

When she’d never even done a thing to them.

Leading peaceful protests was legal, as far as she could tell; they were just big bullies who didn’t like the loud solitary voice of opposition.

Rey squared her shoulders, determined all at once.

She’d ask Finn for his aunt’s help all right.

She was going to sue Hux & Ren for infringing on her rights.

Meanwhile both Finn and Poe had given her hell about Ben the other day.

“Who’s that hunk?”

Poe had asked innocently, as Finn smacked him on the arm.

“Oh him? He’s just a friend.”

Rey had mumbled, hoping they’d drop it.

No such luck.

“And why didn’t you introduce us?”

Finn retorted.

“I just…”

Rey began, and Poe stopped his boyfriend with a hand to his chest,

“When Rey’s ready to confess her dirty filthy sins, we’ll know. Let’s give her some space.”

He winked at her, and she knew she was blushing.

It was a huge exaggeration, but the heated dreams she’d been having about Ben hadn’t really helped her case.

He was just so damned attractive, aloof and mysterious, not to mention nearly a head taller than her, a trait she always found attractive in a man.

The only problem was the fact that he seemed to be hiding something.

Sooner or later, Rey always found out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun


	7. Chapter 7

Kylo wasn’t paying attention to the meeting, not really.

His hands were busy doodling in the corners of the page where he was supposed to be taking notes on the latest of case acquisitions, and when it came time for his side of the table to speak, he deferred to Huxley.

He just wasn’t _there_ enough to care about what was happening.

But eventually Snoke had turned to him, and then the entire conference room was staring.

He cursed internally, and then put on a smile that felt worse than week old milk smelled.

“We’re confident that things will continue to succeed through the quarter.”

It was a canned reply, and could pretty much cover any question asked.

But Snoke wasn’t giving up easy. His wrinkled face, framed by hair that looked far too fake to really be his own, twisted into a scowl making him look even older.

“And what of the girl? The one from NYU? Has any action been taken by your firm?”

Kylo bit his tongue until he could taste blood as Hux stepped in and smoothly countered,

“We’ve filed the proper charges. I expect she’ll be never seen or heard from again.”

“Excellent.”

With that, Snoke turned away from them, and began grilling another pair of lawyers.

Hux threw him a glare that clearly read ‘ _You’re fucking welcome_ ,’ and Kylo sneered right back.

He couldn’t care less, but when Snoke had mentioned Rey, his blood had run cold.

The idea of _that_ man having any sort of contact with her was extraordinarily unappealing.

As far as he knew they’d sent her a restraining order, but it wasn’t even real. It was meant to scare her away.

Knowing her, it might work, but there was a good chance it wouldn’t, or worse, would make her decide to lash out against them.

Kylo smiled faintly to himself.

Not that it would be the end of the world.

He would quit tomorrow if it meant seeing her yelling at Hux.

After the meeting, he had to file some additional paperwork, but he managed to leave the office at a semi decent hour, waving goodbye to Pam, after asking her to order him a new work cell phone, to which she quirked her lips just slightly in amusement, before nodding, and then he was walking home with an extra skip in his step.

Maybe it had just been from seeing her that morning, but somehow through a horrible day, the faint memory of her cheered him up.

It wasn’t until he’d gotten inside his apartment and tossed aside his keys that he noticed his personal phone was blinking red.

A new message.

Had to be from work, as he’d set it to have the red notification light, indicating it was important, anything else was green. What could be so important they had to bother him?

He sighed, and swiped to listen to it.

A mechanical tone informed him it had been left on his work phone machine and was being forwarded to his personal since business hours had ended.

He rolled his eyes and then pressed ‘1’ to play it.

“ _Hello? Hux and Ren? This is Rey…well my name isn’t important, what is important is the fact that I’m going to be suing the fuck out of you guys if you don’t rescind this restraining order, as the very fact you served it means you’ve violated my first amendment rights. Normally, I wouldn’t be such a whiner about this, but the fact is, you guys are a bunch of assholes that are defending people hell bent on profiting from taking advantage of other people, and the planet itself. Super dramatic I know. But you guys suck. Goodbye.”_

If it hadn’t been completely serious, Kylo would have been on his ass laughing until he cried.

Rey was utterly fierce, but somehow completely endearing all at once.

Her voice wavered on the insults, but grew stronger towards the end. Her farewell was surprisingly sweet, despite the venom in her words.

The irony was that she’d called in person, while the messages sent to her were always robo-calls, an impersonal computer generated tone that was about as pleasant to listen to as nails on a chalkboard.

Despite his vow, he now wished he could just step outside and run into her, because more than anything, he wanted to see her.

He had her number now, thanks to the message, but unfortunately there would be no way to call her or contact her without raising suspicion.

If she found out who he was from anyone but him, she’d never listen to him again.

He would truly have no chance in hell.

Before he could stop himself, he was kicking off his shoes and pulling out his most expensive bottle of whiskey, pouring himself a glass, and taking a large sip.

It was just that kind of night.

There was never anything good on television, but he put it on to drone in the background anyway, as he scrolled through the news on his phone. Loosening his tie, he finished off the rest of his glass and poured another.

 

Maybe twenty minutes had passed, and he’d just downed the second glass of two fingers of whiskey, a pleasant buzz having started in the back of his head, when there was an ungodly ringing echoing through his apartment.

It was the front desk on the intercom, telling him he had a guest.

He rolled his eyes again.

Who on earth could it be at this hour?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no i don't picture snoke in this au as anyone in particular, why do you ask?
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> (who do we know with horrible fake hair irl?)


	8. Chapter 8

Rey’s heart was beating incredibly fast, and her hands were shaking, so she stuffed them into her pockets, and tried her best to continue looking innocent.

The man sitting behind the desk was watching her carefully as she stood waiting patiently for him to ring the apartment of Kylo Ren.

She knew it was desperate, and possibly illegal for her to be there in the first place, but she’d gotten too far to stop now.

After calling the company, she’d gotten onto her computer to find the reply from Greenforce.

Director Organa herself wanted to arrange an interview!

Rey thought her heart might explode with happiness, until she’d remembered the letter from the lawyers.

She’d enlisted the help of one of Poe’s less than legal IT geek friends to hack into their system and get the home address of the Ren half of the group.

Hux had been the one to sign the letter, and as such, Rey hesitated to directly approach them, fearing actual bodily harm.

So the only other option had been ‘Ren.’

According to the profile that was on the lawyer’s website, he was the newer half of the firm, and came from a shadowy background.

Poe’s friend told her that it was nearly impossible to find anything on the guy except the fact he’d likely moved from out of state, and hacking any further would be major grounds for expulsion.

Never mind the fact she was technically stalking and possibly breaching the restraining order.

“You have a messenger here from work with files that Hux said you forgot. Shall I send them up?”

Rey couldn’t hear the other end of the phone call, but when the security guy nodded and hung up, she could tell she was in.

But she managed to control herself, and simply gave a bubbly grin and chirpy,

“Thanks!” After he’d told her what floor and apartment number.

Riding an elevator had never seemed to take so long nor be so intimidating.

The mere idea that she was about to confront one of her biggest pseudo foes in the world, much less the city was also making her nervous energy skyrocket.

When the elevator dinged to indicate arrival, Rey jumped.

Mumbling under her breath, she counted the numbers and spotted the one that belonged to Kylo Ren.

Drawing a deep breath, she reached out to knock sharply, but before she could, the door suddenly clicked open and swung inwards, revealing a tall man in a nice suit with a rumpled tie, dark tousled hair, and haunting eyes.

It was Ben!

Rey’s eyebrows knitted in confusion,

“Uh… hello.”

“Rey…”

She took in his own look of bewilderment, and her gaze dropped to his attire and his hand that was tentatively holding a glass of what looked like some kind of alcohol, until it dropped to the floor with a shatter.

His eyes widened and a look of horror overtook his face.

With his bare feet, she was extremely tempted to tell him not to move, and that she could go look for a broom and dustpan, as an unbidden mothering instinct took over, but she tamped it down, and her mind began to race.

He was in the apartment that belonged to Kylo Ren, he had been reading, or avoiding reading rather, a file that had easily been just like the one she’d lied about having, and he worked nearby the coffeeshop she was now banned from…

“You’re him…”

She gasped out finally, and she saw him flinch.

“Yes, but I was going to tell you.”

“What?”

She asked weakly, stepping back for a moment, attempting to get her bearings, as her mind still thundered along a million miles a minute.

His office was responsible for the letter, and his company had been sending the threats to her phone for the last few months…

All the while he’d been the one stalking _her_.

Her heartbeat roared in her ears, and her vision began to white out, distantly, she thought she heard him talking.

The floor began to wobble, and suddenly she felt as if she was falling.

*

Kylo found himself with an armful of unconscious Rey not five seconds after she’d responded to his feeble excuse with a shout.

He had had no choice but to step over the broken glass and catch her after she fainted.

The only place he could think that would do, for the moment, was his couch, so he walked over and set her down as gently as he could.

He moved the table which the now half empty bottle of whiskey sat on away just slightly, and then went back to shut his front door.

It was then that he realized he was trailing blood across his wooden floor.

He’d trod right on the broken glass on the way back inside.

“Fuck.”

He started to feel the burn of the cuts a split second later.

“Ugh.”

There was a groan from Rey awakening, and he limped over to his kitchen counter, grabbing a fistful of paper towels, suddenly sobered from the pain and the fact she was probably about to deck his ass.

He remained standing as best he could, and wiped up the most that he could see of the blood, lest she freak out about it.

“…What happened?”

Rey was watching him not unlike he was someone who was not to be trusted, and for all she knew, he wasn’t.

“You passed out. I brought you in mostly because I didn’t want to leave you lying out in the hallway. People would talk.”

The smile he couldn’t resist was obviously the wrong move, he realized it a fraction of an instant too late.

She snorted, and her face crinkled in disgust.

“Why am I not surprised that all you care about is your reputation? No wonder you use a fake name to hide behind. You’re a monster.”

Kylo raised his hands,

“Whoa now. You’re being a bit harsh. Whatever you may think of me, it’s all a job. I don’t actually give two shits about anyone where I work.”

Rey huffed a sigh,

“Right. That’s why you live in a penthouse apartment overlooking the city. Just work. Just nine to five bullshit. I can’t believe I actually…”

She trailed off, shaking her head and staring down at her feet.

Kylo felt his heart clench in his chest, and somewhere a countdown clock began ticking.

It was the last time he would ever see her, and now she hated him to the very core.

There wasn’t a price on earth he wouldn’t pay to undo everything that had led to that night.

“What?”

He couldn’t help himself.

She looked back up at him, and there was disappointment etched onto her beautiful face. It was an expression he knew well.

“You’re just another dick-sucking and ass-kissing jerk like the rest of them. I actually thought you were different.”

An impulsive urge to laugh tickled his throat.

He’d never sucked a dick in his life, nor kissed anything remotely close to an ass, but the same could not be said for Huxley.

“I know.”

She looked taken aback, and then she was standing up, fire in her eyes,

“You’re not going to get away with this. Any of it.”

He honestly wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but he wasn’t about to argue or say anything else to irritate her.

He simply retreated, and instead of storming for the door, like he thought she would, she advanced.

Inhaling sharply, he glanced around, wondering what she would possibly do, and if it was attack him, what could she use for a weapon.

Lamp? Too heavy. Paperweight? Too cliché. Whiskey bottle? Way too cliché.

He was torn between the old newspaper from a week ago and the file folder she’d been clutching before she passed out, which he’d placed just beside her on the table and the whiskey bottle.

Surprisingly, she didn’t pick anything up, instead, she used her hand.

The slap didn’t hurt, well, considering he was still feeling the stinging pain of his cut feet, it was small by comparison.

His cheek did smart and grow hot, so he knew he’d be feeling it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are amazing and so patient you get 2 updates tonight <3


	9. Chapter 9

“That is for lying to me.”

Nodding might have been considered egging on, so he remained stock still, arms relaxed at his side, and watched her carefully.

Her stance was rigid, and her shoulders were tight, as she glared up at him, humorously from at least six inches below him.

The top of her head barely reached his chin so she could have given him an impressive head butt if she’d tried.

  
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

It was stupid, but it was all he had.

He was.

He hadn’t regretted anything but the fact he’d been exactly the personification of everything she stood against.

She stepped back, blinking rapidly, and her brows knitted together again,

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

He repeated.

For a moment, she looked quite as if she couldn’t believe her own ears, and then she turned away, reaching for the whiskey bottle.

Kylo nearly swore aloud, prepared to take back the ‘too cliché’ thought, until she brought the bottle to her lips, and took a decent swig.

“Can I offer you a glass?”

He didn’t mean to sound so sarcastic, but it just kind of happened.

Rey looked over at him sharply, and he nodded,

“Sorry. Again.”

“I’m just shocked that you actually own up to it.”

Kylo blinked,

“Why wouldn’t I? It was stupid of me not to introduce myself right off the bat, and then challenge you to combat in starbucks.”

That time the sarcasm was on purpose.

Rey rolled her eyes at him, and he swore he saw the ghost of a smile touch her lips.

“Right.”

Another swig, and he was beginning to relax, just a tidge.

“It’s not personal, it’s just business, isn’t that right?”

She was quoting the Godfather at him, as if he was supposed to be insulted.

Instead, he was impressed.

“Yes…”

It wasn’t a question, but he was utterly clueless as to where she was going.

“The restraining order doesn’t apply to you does it? Just your firm? Otherwise you could technically call the cops on me…”

He blinked again, and then shook his head, throwing away what could have easily been an ace up his sleeve.

No more lies.

“That’s not real.”

She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, a sloppy gesture somehow made endearing by the way her green eyes widened at him and he knew the whiskey was kicking in.

“What?”

“The restraining order… it’s just a piece of paper that Huxley cooked up on his Word processor. It has no legal power behind it.”

“…So I’m not in trouble then? I don’t have to sue you guys?”

Kylo’s smile was warm, and completely automatic in response to the clear relief on her face,

“Of course not. That was just him being a watchdog for the firm.”

Without warning, Rey collapsed back onto the couch, her breath leaving her chest with a huff.

“Oh…”

Kylo took a hesitant step closer,

“Are you okay?”

Waving a hand about, as if shooing away a fly, Rey shrugged,

“No, it’s just, here I was trying to mentally prepare for my finals while the various scenarios of taking you guys to civil court were playing out in my head too. It was maddening. To think, I was really going to buy a pantsuit to wear and try and look more official…”

She grinned suddenly, whether at herself or simply from the whiskey, he didn’t know.

“You would look good in a suit.”

He found himself saying.

It was the honest truth. Not that she didn’t look good in what she wore at that moment, light distressed jeans, tan tank top and a sage green hoodie that brought out her eyes.

She looked up at him and then seemed to recall where she was.

“Oh my god. I totally broke into your apartment, didn’t I?”

Kylo shook his head,

“I think when you open the door, carry someone inside, and then tell them they don’t have a restraining order out on them, you’re pretty much okay.”

Rey glanced around and licked her lips, before returning her gaze to him,

“Did I mention this is a nice place? Cause damn.”

Kylo finally let himself laugh.

She was adorable.

“Thank you. It’s all right for my needs.”

Color scheme notwithstanding, he considered it simply a placeholder.

It held no warmth or memories for him.

It simply fit into his daily routine of eating, sleeping, working, and repeating.

“Would it be weird if I asked for a tour?”

She was smiling shyly now and when her hand moved towards the whiskey bottle he nearly slapped it away. He felt like he needed about the rest of the bottle for strength.

“Sure.”

A nervous giggle escaped her.

“Sure, it’s weird, or sure I can have a tour?”

He extended his hand to her, and when she pressed her palm against his, he felt sparks of heat climb up his spine.

“Follow me.”

He gently lifted her back to her feet, and dropped her hand after a few moments, regretting it instantly.

Every step hurt like hell, but he swallowed down the pain in order to grant her request.

“Here’s the kitchen and dining room, the office which I never use, and over there is the guest bedroom and bathroom, and down that hall is my room.”

He gestured widely, and was surprised when Rey pushed past him, exclaiming,

“You think you’re just going to point and I’ll get the same effect as seeing it? Think again lawyer boy.”

Mildly insulted, he quickly followed her, and did his best to stammer out apologies for the state of things, clothing flung haphazardly, and black, so much black, all over the room.

“Whoa. California king. Nice.”

Rey’s voice was a hushed whisper as she walked towards his bed, running her hands along the end posts and over the down comforter that sat decoratively on the end.

“Yes, well, I like to spread out when I sleep.”

He said lamely.

He was a bit too taken aback from the fact that she was so close to where he slept at night, and frequently, during the last few nights when he’d managed to sleep, dreamt of her.

“Ah, so you’re one of those.”

Kylo blinked, unsure if she was insulting him or not.

“One of what?”

Rey looked over at him with what could only be described as a smirk,

“One of those restless adventure types who sleeps like they own the whole world.”

Kylo rose to the bait,

“And how do you sleep at night?”

He moved closer, just slightly, gauging her response. She didn’t retreat or change her expression, so he figured he was safe.

“I take anything, as long as it’s not the pavement of the street.”

He froze.

“What?”

Rey’s smile was heartbreaking,

“I didn’t always have a bed to sleep in at night, so I take what I can get.”

His mind raced as his gaze dropped to the practically gleaming wooden floor, and all he could come up with was ‘homeless’ until a soft touch of her hand on his arm ripped him from his thoughts.

“Hey.”

“I…”

“It’s okay. It’s a long sad story, that I don’t expect you to want to hear. Besides, weren’t you trying to flirt at me?”

How she’d gotten so close without him noticing was a complete mystery, but then again, so was she.

“I…yes?”

Rey smirked,

“Is that a question?”

She was drunk.

She had to be.

That was the reason she was invading his space, still had her hand burning through the fabric of his shirt and was looking at his lips like…

Like she wanted him to kiss her.

She wanted him to… kiss her?

What was happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you *think* is gonna happen?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guessed it kids...TIME FOR THE SMUT.
> 
>  
> 
> long fought and hard won  
> aka i'm so impatient and damn i wanted them to bang from the second i walked out of the movie so.
> 
>  
> 
> here we go.

Rey was teetering on the edge of running and throwing herself at him.

He was a liar, a lawyer, and worst of all, still incredibly magnetically attractive.

He was also incredibly kind, tall and somehow unnervingly perceptive.

He’d caught on to her statement about sleeping on the ground and she could see he was on the cusp of asking exactly what she meant, but the moment was not the time or the place.

She was still holding his arm, well, clinging to him now, as her feet became unsteady beneath her for the second time that night.

The moment stretched and yawned, and when she saw his eyes dip down to her mouth, she made the decision.

She pressed down on his arm with one hand, and reached up to his neck with the other.

He supported her weight, and leaned down at once, his arms wrapping around to brace her body as their lips met in a bruising kiss.

One blinding moment they had space between them, the next, scarcely a hairsbreadth existed there.

All the tension built up over the night and before and beyond exploded in a wondrous collision second to a star being born.

Kylo’s hands roamed her back and waist for a moment before settling, one splayed across her lower back, and the other gripping her hip, rather possessively if she did think so herself.

Her heartbeat jolted at the realization that he was touching her the exact place he had when they’d first met.

There was something incredibly welcoming about the way he held her, and also the tenderness and care could have made her cry in another time.

She was hardly starved for touch, with the overzealous affection that Poe and Finn showered her with constantly, but still, there was something different happening now.

Her eyes had long closed, and when Kylo shifted slightly, her lips parted under his, and he traced his tongue just over her bottom lip before pulling away, teasing her beyond reason.

So naturally she groaned aloud.

His hands tightened.

“What’s that?”

Her eyes opened slowly, as if from a dream, and she found him smirking down at her.

“I didn’t want you to stop.”

She protested, nearly wincing at how pathetic she sounded.

Instantly his face changed, from light hearted teasing to smoldering intensity,

“Okay.”

In what could only be described as a sweeping move, he lifted her up and walked them over to the bed, setting her down and letting go of her for a moment, just to lean over her and capture her lips again in a kiss more slow and gentle than before.

She nipped at his bottom lip and he smiled into the kiss, clicking his tongue at her aggressiveness before opening his mouth at the same time she did, the slip and slide of their tongues making her blood warm, as heat bloomed in her stomach.

He was bracing himself against the mattress, but in a moment Rey decided she’d much rather have his weight on her, so she tugged on his shirt, untucking it and pulling him close.

He broke the kiss instantly.

“Uh…”

Rey froze.

“Should I not…”

She saw him swallow.

“What were you thinking?”

He looked cautious, and she was the one who had half a mind to shove her hand down his pants out of impatience.

Never mind the fact she was panting for breath just the same as he was.

“I was thinking you’re a bit overdressed.”

She retorted bravely, watching him closely.

There was a flash of something in his eyes like lust, and she felt immensely powerful in that moment.

“Ah. You’re sure you’re okay with things going that direction?”

Rey leaned back on the bed, and looked up at him with her best impression of bedroom eyes,

“Are you asking if I’m drunkenly trying to take advantage of _you_?”

He frowned for a second, before shrugging.

“I suppose…yes.”

Rey licked her lips and reached down to unzip her hoodie, before tossing it aside and cocking a brow up at him.

“If I am?”

Kylo blinked.

“I guess I don’t object.”

Rey grinned.

“Good.”

She reached for him next, but his hands were instantly on hers.

“Wait.”

She pouted up at him and she could have sworn she saw his eyes flash again with lust.

Oh he wanted her, and maybe it was horribly wrong of her, but she was simply consumed by her need for him.

“I think we should take it slower. I mean, I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and run off, thinking this all a mistake and me a monster.”

She flinched.

She had called him that, hadn’t she?

“I won’t.”

She meant it.

If anyone had asked her a month ago if she’d be honestly prepared to leap into some hot shot Oil company lawyers bed for anything _less_ than a one night stand, she would have laughed in their face.

Punched them in it too.

But despite everything, she didn’t want that.

There was an impossible connection between them, and even before she’d come to his apartment she’d felt something deep down telling her it was right.

The principal of it was wrong, sure.

But when he looked at her, like he was doing right there, she was sure the world could fall away and she’d never feel as content as she did.

“Okay.”

He let go of her hands, and instead of taking things from zero to sixty, she reached up to begin unbuttoning his shirt, and he pressed closer, halting her hands and forcing them against his chest as he kissed her again.

She wasn’t sure she could stop kissing him long enough to take anything else off.

It made her breath catch in her throat, and her heartbeat quicken under her skin.

She closed her eyes for a moment, and decided to just _feel_.

*

Kylo found himself drowning in the sensation and the way Rey’s little groans slipped out now and then when he kissed her particularly deep was making him feel much less like the adult he was and more like a teenager he used to be.

When her hands had grazed his stomach and barely touched his waistband he thought he might unconsciously have bucked up against her.

She hadn’t meant to do that, to rile him up so fast, but it didn’t matter.

She _had_.

He tried to keep his hands in innocent enough places, but soon he couldn’t stop himself from roaming her bare arms and down her legs over her soft jeans.

He wanted to rip them right off her and kiss every inch of exposed skin.

One of the most pleasurable things he had experienced was that of giving a woman her first orgasm with his mouth and hands.

If she put her hands in his hair and pushed him closer, until he couldn’t breathe, that was even better.

Kylo ached to be able to do that for her, but he wasn’t sure if she’d want that yet, or if they’d move beyond kissing at all.

He didn’t mind.

He was patient.

But he still yearned to do it.

With a sudden move, she yanked on his shirt, and wrapped her leg around his own, throwing off his balance and toppling him over onto the bed, breaking the kiss so that she could climb on top of him, before smirking down at him.

“That’s quite enough of that.”

Her hands made quick work of his shirt, and then he was struggling to get out of it.

Once discarded, he wrote it off.

It would never be wrinkle free enough to wear again.

He couldn’t give a fuck.

Her hands were exploring his bare chest, and he found himself preparing to do the same, reaching up and behind her to lift her tank top and unsnap her bra.

Rey looked mildly impressed.

“How do you do that without looking? It took years before I could put it together without looking.”

He grinned.

“It’s just one of my mad skills.”

She lifted her arms obediently so he could push off her tank and then slide the bra off and away.

Now they matched.

Except now Kylo didn’t want to touch anything but the perfect breasts in front of him.

So he did.

His hands were practically too big to hold them.

Not to say they weren’t a decent size, but,

“You’re frowning…what’s the matter?”

Rey broke into his confusion,

“I’m just trying to figure out how to properly palm you.”

He smiled to cover up his nerves.

Rey rolled her eyes,

“It’s fine. Besides, there’s plenty of me to go around.”

She took his hands and placed them just so, one between her breasts, so he could caress them both, and the other she slid between her legs, ripping a gasp from his throat.

“You could probably make me come without even taking my pants off.”

Her smile was pure sin.

He just blinked at her, stunned.

“It’s been a while, and I’m really sensitive.”

The dirty talk threw him for a loop, but he couldn’t really form a reply, that wasn’t something along the lines of ‘Guh.’

“I still think I’d like your pants off.”

He finally managed, but his voice broke on the word ‘pants.’

Rey nodded,

“I was thinking the same thing.”

She glanced down at him, her eyes dropping below his waist to the glaringly obvious tent in his pants, just above where she was perched.

It had been easy enough to ignore it, considering the pretty picture she painted, but now that she’d drawn his attention to it, his arousal flared to life, and he squirmed beneath her.

She licked her lips again, and then shifted up and off him, only to undo her jeans and pull the zipper down, before shucking them aside.

Left only in a pair of practical navy undies, she resumed her position, and her hands immediately went to work on his pants.

There was a clasp and a zipper, but he didn’t notice any one thing she did, just the mere fact she was touching him lit him afire with need anew.

She tugged his pants and boxers down with one swift tug when she’d undone them, and he gasped at the feel of her hand on his painfully hard cock.

“Mmm… impressive.”

She hummed as she stroked him, slowly enough to be maddeningly pleasurable but not nearly enough to do much of anything but tease him.

“What’s that?”

He managed to gasp out, bucking up unconsciously into her hand.

“Of the dicks I’ve seen, yours is the first I’d call pretty.”

Kylo choked on a laugh, as her thumb brushed over the weeping head, sweeping away the drops of pre-cum.

“Thanks?”

“You’re welcome.”

Her other hand slipped down to graze over his sack with a featherlight touch, and he bit his lip to keep from letting the word ‘please’ escape.

Luckily, or unluckily, distraction came in the form of Rey crawling back up to kiss him, and his hands slid up her back, pulling her down and halting all movement.

Still, her hands between them were not completely immobile, and he wondered for a moment if she wasn’t attempting to get revenge for the entire thing.

He decided to try and even the odds, reaching blindly down to cup her ass with one hand, squeezing gently, as his other hand cupped between her legs, and he groaned into her mouth at the feel of her soaked through underwear.

Rey smiled into the kiss, he could taste it, even with his eyes closed.

“You’re so wet…”

He gasped.

“Mhm. You did this to me. What are you going to do about it?”

Cheeky.

Well he was always up for that.

“Plenty.”

In a heartbeat, he’d gripped her with both arms, and flipped them again, placing her underneath him with a sigh.

He put a kiss on her neck, filed away the little mewl of protest she made when he slid further down, and began tugging at the band of her panties.

“Oh, you don’t have to…”

She began, before his lips made contact with her inner thigh, her scent overwhelming him from so close.

“Shh. You have no idea how much I want to.”

Another kiss to the opposite thigh, and she fell silent.

His hands braced on her legs, hefting them gently up onto his shoulders, and he leaned in, closing the distance, and planting a kiss right on her mound.

Her soft curls matched the warm brown on her head exactly, and he wondered what was going through that perfect brain of hers.

He’d always wished he could read minds, but never so much as when he was with her.

Luckily she seemed to read his, and her hands moved from gripping the sheets to his head, one weaving through his hair on top, and the other at the back of his neck.

He grinned, and set to work in earnest, testing every bit of her soft skin for a reaction.

She was incredibly responsive, and the second he grazed his teeth over her clit, she arched her back and pressed him closer.

He tried to keep from feeling overly smug.

He brought one hand up to gently press a finger inside her, crooking it when he felt her walls begin to clench around him, as his tongue match the pressure of his fingers inside her.

“Oh god!”

‘Nope, just me.’ He thought wickedly, and increased his efforts, adding another finger and putting his thumb directly on her clit, using his mouth just around where she wanted him, but it was enough.

Her thighs threatened to crush his ears into his skull as she came with a keening sigh, and he made no point in hiding his delight, moving back up beside her, and licking his fingers off.

“Well… I clearly underestimated you.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

He grinned down at her, stroking a hand up and over her stomach to her breasts absentmindedly, as she caught her breath.

“Do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was another fic where kylo didn't quite know what to do while going down on her and rey told him 'use the force' trust me i was thinking about that but there was no way to replicate the hilarity :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cue obligatory insert of favorite movie quotes between the two of them...completely in and out of context lol

Rey decided she liked him being on top of her, and maybe it was just the fact he could cover her with his body, touching her bare skin with his, inch for inch.

He ground into her hips ever so slightly, bringing the spark of arousal back to a flaring burn.

His mouth hovered over hers, and her eyes slid shut as he finally closed the distance to kiss her, languidly, so slow she thought she might die from impatience.

The way he kissed her now was with deep swipes of his tongue, probing her mouth and providing obscene reminders of what he’d just done to her.

She nipped at his lips when he pulled his tongue back and he thrust his ever hard and weeping cock against her core.

She was so wet he could have probably slipped inside her without any resistance, but for the fact she’d not had anything bigger than a pair of fingers in months.

As it was, he fit perfectly and still ripped a gasp from her throat when he sunk all the way home.

“Oh …my…god.”

His smirk should have been illegal.

“Nope, just Ben.”

Rey found the coherence to frown up at him, forcing her eyes open, and her hips stilling.

“Wait. What’s your real name if not Kylo Ren?”

He shrugged, and she felt their bodies move with the movement.

“You’re really going to stop me while I’m fucking you to ask what my real name is?”

He started to pull out of her and before he could move all the way, Rey brought her legs up around his waist to force him back inside her, and the groan he let out crawled down her spine and breathed new life into her arousal.

“You really are dramatic aren’t you?” She said with a gasp.

He frowned just so, and then began to thrust in earnest, with a rhythm that stole the rest of her mental capacity to argue.

By the time her orgasm was screaming through her, she was gripping his shoulders for dear life, and not caring one whit if she drew blood in the process.

 Kylo meanwhile was moving less and less gracefully, finally throwing his head back and letting out a pained sounding groan as his climax hit him.

His head came to rest in the space between her neck and shoulder, and she felt him kiss the skin there.

She reached up to stroke a hand through his sweaty hair, and down his neck.

“Sorry, I think I scratched you.”

“Snoproblem.”

He mumbled.

She smiled.

“I mean, I know its super late to mention it, I’m on the shot. So no worries. It’s always sexier when you can come inside anyway…right?”

She felt him begin to shake, and when he braced himself up on his elbows to look down at her, he was beaming.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that? Your dirty talk needs work. Yes, it feels much better to come inside you, but I would have done pretty much whatever you want. I did not expect things to escalate this…quickly.”

Rey was blushing; she could feel it in her cheeks.

“Okay.”

He was clearly trying not to put his entire weight on her, but eventually she could see his arms beginning to shake, so he pulled away and flopped over onto his back beside her, lazily snagging one of her hands, and weaving their fingers together.

“So…”

Her heartbeat had long since settled from the exhilaration that was the high of her orgasm, so when it began to flutter fast again, Rey fought the urge to fight or fly.

“…So?”

He squeezed her hand gently,

“My real name was Ben. I changed it when I left home. I wanted to become my own self. My own man, so to speak. The only way for me to start was to do the literal thing first.”

“Oh…”

How bad must his family have been that he couldn’t even bear to keep their name?

“It’s a long sad story, but probably not as interesting as yours. I’d like to hear it someday.”

Kylo continued, patting the back of her hand gently with his other one, and she sensed something inside her click into place.

She would tell him.

On her own time.

“Maybe you will.”

He shifted, turning so that he could face her, and when his hand moved up to stroke her cheek, she nuzzled against his palm.

“I hope so.”

After a soft kiss that was nearly enough to make Rey tear up from the absolute _tenderness_ of it all, she felt the fingers of exhaustion tickling her brain, and she accepted the darkness willingly.

*

Kylo woke up with her in his arms, curling her body around his own, and though his arm beneath her head was long numb, and only just beginning to regain feeling with a needle stabbing sensation, he didn’t think he could bring himself to move.

There was little light that could piece the dark curtains hanging in front of his windows, but somehow one spear always made it through.

Right now it was lying across his legs and hers, and the resulting glow lit up even her face.

The sheets were twisted around their ankles, and simple body heat had kept them warm as they slept.

Rey’s bare skin was gleaming, and if it hadn’t meant shifting and waking her, he’d have scattered kisses every spot he hadn’t been able to the night before.

As it was, he could simply stare at her face, and marvel at the beauty.

She also looked so young and almost innocent while she slept.

The urge to reach out and touch her was strong, and only after glancing at the clock on his bedside table, seeing it was a semi-decent hour to be awake, did he allow himself the pleasure.

His hand traced the line from her forehead down her delicate cheekbones and the curve of her neck down to her shoulder, and where that dipped past her collarbone.

Incredible.

A few seconds later, she began to stir, and he jerked his hand back like he’d been burned.

Instead of a morning greeting, she simply groaned.

“Not a morning person I take it?”

He asked, freeing his arm, and shifting until he was lying on his stomach, looking over at her, propped up on one elbow.

“No…”

She blinked once, twice, and then licked her lips, finally focusing on his face.

“Did you sleep much?”

At that, a slow smile began to spread over her mouth, and she nodded.

“The whiskey, or me?”

It was stupid. But he wanted to know, genuinely, why she’d stayed, and if she was planning to just cut and run.

Maybe she was still in his bed and naked and looking content, but it didn’t matter.

Her brows met, and she slid down slightly, lifting her arms to stretch like a cat, and his eyes naturally gravitated to her breasts and all as she moved.

Arching her back, she managed to wipe his mind blank of all his worries for a moment.

“For someone who’s such a hot shot, you’re not the most self assured dude are you?”

How was he supposed to respond to that?

He just continued to stare.

Rey scrunched back up, and moved over to climb on top of him, while he was lost in thought, and only when she rolled her hips against him did he snap back to attention.

“You know…like this, I could take anything I want from you…you’re very much at my mercy.”

Her voice had dropped to a husky whisper, and Kylo was just frozen, looking up at her with unashamed admiration.

His hands moved to grip her hips, and cease their movement, for even though a corner of the sheet covered him and was between their bodies, she was easily drawing a reaction from him.

“We’ll see.”

Rey’s face dissolved into delight as she giggled,

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I heard that line somewhere and it was just begging to be said.”

He squeezed her thighs and she yelped.

“Okay then. If we’re doing that…then don’t be afraid, I feel it too.”

Light as she was, he could easily buck up against her, nudging his morning erection up and out of the sheets to draw her attention.

“Oh… hello there.”

“Are we still reciting quotes?”

Rey clapped a hand to her mouth,

“Oops.”

“So do we have time for anything…or do you need to go before you turn back into a…” he trailed off, unsure what exactly she would be.

Rey cocked a brow,

“Are you asking me to leave?”

“No!”

He sat up abruptly, bringing their lips into much closer proximity, and her eyes dropped to stare at his mouth.

“Okay.”

She licked her lips again, and he took that as an invitation.

His hands shifted from her hips to cup her face as they kissed, and when he felt her relax under his touch, he did the same.

He was rapidly losing his grip on things.

Falling for her was beginning to be an inevitability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some fluff for your new years day reading pleasure <3


	12. Chapter 12

The line was cheesy, but incredibly accurate.

She felt something for him, and it did scare her, just a little. There had been talk and talk and talk about how she’d find someone who made her feel complete, or who clicked perfectly, or could make her believe in the stupid happy ending idea.

The thought that he was that guy flipped every conception about _love_ or sex on its head.

Sex had been great, and it always was, but there was just a tiny little difference with Ben…or Kylo.

Instead of being annoyed at the less serious nature of things, and even when it had gotten serious, she’d never once been gripped by the dark hand of her anxiety.

Now she was just leaping ahead and thinking about what this meant for them.

She still wanted to take off running, but now she could imagine holding his hand, dragging him along, and _that_ was a scary thought indeed.

He was easily visible in her future.

In the end, they didn’t do anything beyond the heavy side of making out and slight teasing touches here and there, because his phone rang and nearly made Rey fall off the bed out of shock.

Kylo pulled her with him as he crawled over to snag the offending object.

She tried not to overhear the conversation, but considering she was tucked against his chest as he loomed over her, it was next to impossible.

“My mother sent me something to the office direct? How could that happen?”

She blinked, surprised.

He had a strained relationship with his family, that was obvious and he’d more than touched upon it, but the look on his face was more sad than angry.

He almost looked afraid.

“Just leave it on my desk. I’ll take care of it. Thank you Pam.”

He hung up the phone and pulled up and away from her, his head falling into his hands as a ragged sigh escaped him.

“What’s the matter?”

Rey couldn’t help following him, imitating her best attempt at comfort, by stroking his bare shoulder and sitting beside him, watching for cues.

“Nothing…it’s just, I guess my family has been trying to find me, and they figured out where I worked. I mean, I knew my father had been around, but I had no idea…”

“I don’t understand.”

Kylo looked up at her, and there was pure pain and regret in his eyes, two things that absolutely floored her.

“I left them to work for their enemy, basically. They still want me to come home…after all that I’ve done.”

Rey bit her lip,

“Isn’t that good? Your family still loves you. No matter what. Better to have that, then no one who even wanted you.”

The bitterness that was on the edge of her tone was unconscious.

It was always how she thought of _them_.

The people who’d created her, then abandoned her without a care.

“Rey…”

His hand on her face brought her back from the cusp of the memories and emotions that threatened to disturb her tranquility.

She looked at him, and in that moment, there was an inaudible exchange of understanding.

Maybe he was everything she should hate, but he was _not_ what he did.

No more words were exchanged between then and when she left him, to return to her dorm.

There was no walk of shame, no regret in her step.

He’d left his bed to shower for the morning, and he’d also left the door open.

She’d followed.

They had stayed in there until the hot water had run out, and it was his hands on her skin that burned.

When they’d emerged he had reluctantly admitted he needed to visit the doctor, and she’d looked, actually looked at his feet for him, and winced at the sight.

How he’d been ignoring the pain all night she didn’t know, until she looked back up at him.

_Oh_. She thought.

That’s how.

He kissed her goodbye with tenderness that made her heart ache and her eyes sting.

The stillness of the streets at the early hour gave her plenty of room to think.

Poe and Finn were likely still asleep, so she walked right past their door and slipped inside her room.

On what had to be autopilot, she called the number Leia Organa had put at the bottom of the email reply and set up a time to come in.

No point in delaying her future. She would go in that afternoon and she would get the job.

Rey could feel the spark of confidence inside herself growing by the second.

Kylo hadn’t created it, but he certainly hadn’t stifled it either.

If someone like him could be revealed as human before her very eyes, then there was hope for anything to be possible.

*

With the delirium that had been waking up beside the beacon of light and beauty that was Rey, and the whirlwind of a morning he’d had, showering with her, feeling her skin against his for as long as possible, Kylo ended up walking into his office in a near daze, and he realized once _again_ he’d forgotten to exchange any sort of contact information.

He still had her phone number from the errant message she’d left on the work phone that had been forwarded to him, but still, using that felt wrong.

After a quick stop in at a 24 hour emergency care center, getting proper bandages on his feet and a prescription for antibiotics to stem off infection and pain killers to help him get through the day, he was on his way to work, still a couple hours before he usually arrived.

He sighed, and pushed open the door of his office, finding Pam waiting for him, with the envelope in hand that had been the catalyst for the rousing phone call.

“What are you doing here so early?”

She asked with a wry smile, and he rolled his eyes.

“Did you expect me to put off coming in just because of that?”

He glared at the orange packet and snatched it out of her hands, ignoring her laugh.

“You never know boss. I’ll hold your calls until you tell me.”

She was gone in a soft click of heels, and Kylo was left staring down at the careful script from his mother, addressing the packet to him.

He was actually almost scared to open it.

But eventually he could put it off no longer. He grabbed the nearest letter opener and slit the top of it, pulling out what appeared to be an overlarge card and a small box.

The box he opened first before reading the letter, and inside he found a small metal coin, stamped with the Greenforce logo on one side, and on the other, an engraved message that read: ‘Liberate your future by releasing your past.’[1]

He exhaled slowly, and rubbed his thumb over the cool metal surface.

Finally, he turned to the letter, and flipped it open.

**‘Dear Ben,**

**I know there’s a good chance you won’t read this, that you’ll throw it straight into the trash out of anger and frustration. But I believe in you. I think you will read it. I hope so. I want you to know that I miss you more every day. Your father and I both do. We know you think you made the right choice by leaving, and I can’t fault you for wanting to make your own way. I just wish you’d not felt the need to push us away. We hope we won’t have to pass many more holidays without you at our table _._**

**_Love_ , Leia and Han _____’**

Kylo found himself unable to read which last name had been put at the end of the letter, due to his vision beginning to blur with tears.

He resisted the strong urge to do just what he’d been accused of, crumpling the letter up and throwing it aside, and simply collapsed into his desk chair, spinning away from the front of the office and facing the window, looking out at the rapidly lightening sky that was far more beautiful than it should be allowed.

Streaks of pink and orange clouds gave the whole city a warm glow that he wished Rey could be beside him to see.

He sniffed and tried to regain his composure.

He knew his parents had sent the letter because his birthday was just around the corner, as well as the main holiday season, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to resist talking to them much longer.

At least his mother.

He could go see her, it seemed, and not be in danger of a lengthy lecture.

With renewed purpose, he got out of his chair and went out to where Pam was sitting and reading what looked like a real newspaper.

At the sight of him, she threw it down with a crunch.

“Yes?”

“Clear my schedule this afternoon. I’m going on a personal errand. You can let any calls through also until I leave.”

Pam nodded.

“Of course.”

He managed a tight smile, and then retreated back into his office.

 

* * *

 

[1] Quote by [**LaShaun Middlebrooks Collier**](http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7210705.LaShaun_Middlebrooks_Collier)


	13. Chapter 13

Rey flicked through her closet, trying to find something that was professional enough for her interview, but not something that was too stuffy it said ‘trying too hard.’

“You know you’re going to get it no matter what you wear, right?”

Poe interjected, breaking her concentration.

Finn and he had come over shortly after she’d gotten home, some sort of sixth sense between them picking up that she was in need of friends’ advice and counseling.

“Yeah. They’d be stupid to say no to you.”

Finn added.

Rey turned to them both and smiled,

“That’s sweet. But let’s be realistic. The job market sucks ass right now. There’s never a guarantee, no matter how well qualified or not I am.”

She bit her lip and went back to searching.

After the time started to get close for her to leave, she just gave up and picked her plain black skirt, and the only button up shirt she had. It was a white blouse with ruffles down the front. The combination was something she’d never be caught dead in, but came off extremely businessy.

Paired with her only high heels, she twirled for the guys who gave her the thumbs up before she rushed out the door, not wanting to be late.

 

There was always too much traffic when she was in a hurry, but luckily Rey managed to snag a close parking spot, with five minutes to spare as she walked inside the lobby, fighting to keep her jaw from dropping at the front foyer, and the gorgeous design of the entire thing, from the marble flooring to the glass walls and the miniature waterfall behind the desk marked ‘Information.’

“Hi. I’m here for an appointment with Director Organa.”

The girl behind the desk had blond hair up in dual buns above her ears. She smiled warmly at Rey, who instantly relaxed.

“Of course. Let me give her a call and let her know you’re here. You can have a seat over there.”

She gestured to the couches to the right of the room, placed strategically with walking space between them, but not so that they covered up the images in the marble.

Trees and plants from what looked like another world scattered over the flooring, and Rey found herself getting lost in imagining just what sort of place it would be like.

The gentle cough of someone who’d stepped into her vision, standing as if blooming out from the wide purple hybrid of an iris and rose brought her back to her senses.

She looked up to find the woman herself watching her with amusement.

“Rey isn’t it? It’s wonderful to finally meet you. I’ve heard good things about your work at NYU.”

Rey jumped to her feet and stuck out her hand at once,

“Yes ma’am, er, Mrs. Organa…or Director, er…”

Leia was laughing now and when she shook Rey’s hand, there was a decent amount of strength behind it.

“Leia is fine. I think Director sounds too snooty, don’t you?”

She let go of Rey’s hand and left her stammering again.

“Er…”

“Come along. I like to walk and talk. Let me give a tour.”

Rey did her best to absorb everything she was seeing as well as listen and properly answer Leia’s questions.

In her life she’d only ever been through two job interviews, and never heard back from either of them. It was pure luck that had gotten her into NYU on a scholarship and with Finn’s help, she’d been able to scrape together cash by working part time thanks to job postings at the school itself. Working retail sucked, working restaurants were worse, and above all, the month she’d spent behind the counter of a record store should never be mentioned.

The older woman came to a stop outside a glass door with her name printed on it, and she turned to Rey,

“Well, this is it. I just need to ask you some final questions and then there’s some official paperwork to go over.”

Rey felt her nerves alight.

“Wait…”

Leia smiled, and pulled the door open, waving Rey inside.

“Yes my dear, the hard part is over. Everything else is a formality. Do I really need to ask if you want the job? I can see how much you want it by the way you never stop looking around.”

Suddenly Rey couldn’t stop smiling.

“I want it more than anything I’ve ever thought I could want in my life.”

It sounded like an exaggeration, but it wasn’t.

The only thing that lingered in the back of her mind was the thought of Ben…Kylo…and how things would continue when they were truly on the opposite sides of the pseudo war that was raging.

“Well, then once you finish this, I’ll get this filed with human resources and they’ll be emailing you a tentative schedule. Please feel free to let me know your class schedule and we’ll work around your availability.”

Rey felt herself on the verge of tears in that moment.

Leia was still standing, just behind her desk, leaning over the papers, highlighting where Rey would need to sign.

“…Leia, can I hug you?”

Rey finally blurted out, and the older woman straightened up to look at her, something like surprise in her eyes.

“Why…of course. Come here.”

She opened her arms, and Rey couldn’t help how fast she flew into them.

She only lingered as long as she could without making it weird, and then stepped back, laughing shakily.

“Sorry… I just…I grew up without any real parents, and you’re one of my heroes, so this is basically the best day of my life.”

If she didn’t know better, she thought she saw the gleam of a tear in the woman’s eye.

“That’s…remarkable. You’re so confident and assured of yourself, I’m betting you have immense inner strength to have gone through that. You’re exactly what we need around here.”

Rey collapsed into the chair in front of Leia’s desk, somewhat overwhelmed by her words.

“Thank you.”

The loud ringing of Leia’s desk phone shattered the silence of the moment, and Leia winced slightly.

“Pardon me.”  She reached over to press the glowing red button, and there was a crackle of static before the voice of the girl from the front desk could be heard.

“Director Organa, your son is here to see you. Shall I send him up?”

Rey blinked, and wondered if she should step out.

Leia inhaled sharply and clasped a hand to her chest,

“What’s that? What did you say?”

“Your son. Mister Solo, junior is here. He says he got your letter.”

“Send him up. Yes.”

The line clicked dead, and Leia looked up, as if only just then remembering Rey.

“I apologize. It’s just, I haven’t seen him in so long, I’m afraid if I tell him to wait, he might change his mind and leave.”

Rey wrung her hands together in her lap, feeling awkward.

“Oh. I see. Should I go, and come back? I don’t want to intrude…”

Leia waved her hand around,

“It’s fine. I wonder if you might help. He’ll be less inclined to be overdramatic, as will I, if we’re not alone.”

The pained smile she gave Rey spoke of a burden of history that would probably take the better part of the afternoon to explain.

Still, Rey got up from her seat in the only other chair besides Leia’s and moved to the side, observing the view from the window. It overlooked Central Park, and as the day was perfectly sunny and clear, it teemed with activity as people enjoyed the weather.

She saw Leia step from out behind her desk out of the corner of her eye, and she knew that her son must be approaching.

The door swung open and Leia’s voice broke as she greeted him.

“Mom…I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry.”

Rey felt her throat close up.

She knew that voice.

Turning around slowly, she found Leia embracing Ben… _Solo_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> womp womp the big reveal...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it my children, the end of an era. But never fear, there will be much more Reylo from me. angsty, fluffy, sexy or sad.

Kylo had walked up to the front desk for Greenforce with something like a nervous energy flowing through his veins. Every inch of him screamed that it was a bad idea to be doing this, but he didn’t care.

It was _right_.

While he waited for the girl to call his mother, he looked around the lobby.

It had certainly been through a change in looks.

What used to be plain grey walls and almost ugly flooring had been transformed into a place that could practically be featured in a magazine for House Beautiful.

“Go ahead.”

The girl said, hanging up the phone with a smile, and Kylo felt his heart clench in his chest.

“Thank you.”

The elevators hummed as he paced back and forth inside the car, unable to keep still for a moment.

His breath caught in his chest as he spotted the office at the end of the hallway, with bold letters declaring Leia Organa, Director.

There was a woman standing over by the window, dressed sharply in black and white, but it was his mother that drew his attention.

“Oh my god Ben. It’s so good to see you.”

He returned with the words he’d been itching to say for so long, and it was then that the woman at the window moved to face them.

_It was Rey._

Her jaw dropped, and she clapped a hand to her mouth.

“It’s you.”

She whispered.

He blinked, mind suddenly drawing a blank as to what to say.

His mother pulled back, tears glistening in her eyes as she looked between them.

“You know each other?”

Kylo gulped down a breath of much needed air.

“Yes.” He managed to reply.

Rey looked incredible.

She cleaned up more than nicely.

“That’s wonderful. Ben, you realize she’s someone very exceptional, don’t you?”  


He looked down at his mother,

“Yes. I do.”

He smiled fondly at her, and then chanced another look at Rey.

She didn’t seem angry, just a bit in shock.

Of course. She’d never known his original last name.

He’d not been ashamed, but simply unsure how to tell her.

She’d mentioned Greenforce once and he knew he’d reacted, but hadn’t been able to explain.

“Your son is quite special too.”

She finally said.

His mother nodded, reaching up to stroke his face, and he could have cried from joy.

“I know. He’s a lot like his father in that way.”

Rey seemed to arrive at the realization just before he could explain.

“Your dad is Han Solo? Right…wow.”

She looked impressed and he almost wondered if maybe he should have led with that, back in the coffeeshop that first morning.

“Well then. I think a chat is in order.”

His mom patted his chest, and then stepped away from him to shake Rey’s hand,

“Thank you again my dear. I’ll be in touch.”

Rey nodded, sensing the moment was over.

Kylo didn’t say anything, but he did smile at her, and she returned it in a way that made hope bloom in his chest, along with something he couldn’t identify.

“Welcome home Ben.”

When Leia went back behind her desk, he took his seat opposite her, and the words simply flowed out of him.

All his frustrations and the reasoning behind everything, from the last moment he’d seen her, to that day.

“You know there’s always a place for you here. No matter what you decide.”

Kylo…Ben, nodded.

“I know. I just…I’m not sure what I could do. All I’ve ever known was winning, and deception.”

Leia sighed,

“You need to learn to lose. Not every battle can be won. Sometimes you need to know when to admit defeat. Didn’t your father ever tell you that?”

Ben shook his head.

“This is dad we’re talking about right?”

Leia grinned,

“Right. What was I thinking?”

Ben sobered instantly.

“They’ll call me a traitor, if I leave.”

“Would you rather stay and continue what you’re doing?”

Ben swallowed past the lump in his throat, and shook his head.

“No.”

“Then come try it out. Work for me, just for a few months. If you don’t like it, I’ll find you something else, anywhere else. You’d be surprised the connections I have now.”

His mother smiled gently and he got the impression she was being more than modest.

“Is that right?”

She nodded.

“You could be a great force for good. You know that right?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask a favor?”

“Anything.”

“I have this amazing secretary…well, she’s more than that really. Could you find something for her too? I don’t think I could leave her behind if I wanted to.”

Leia clapped her hands together,

“That’s perfect. You know, I’ve been looking for a new PA, and with Rey being just part time, there’s definitely room.”

Ben found himself grinning.

When he finally left Greenforce, he’d been penciled in for dinner with both his father and mother, and she’d subtly suggested he invite Rey.

He didn’t bother going back to work.

He would email in his resignation.

*

It wasn’t even a thought, when he got back to his apartment; he pulled up the file with her angry voicemail and dialed the number back. He needed to see her again. His very skin was crawling with the need to touch hers.

It rung twice, and her voice answered carefully,

“Hello?”

“Rey. It’s me.”

Lame a reply as he could ever speak, but it got the point across.

“Ben.”

His name was a sigh on her lips.

“Yes. Can you come over?”

“Okay. Should I bring anything? Are you hungry?”

Hungry for her kisses sure.

“I couldn’t say no to a pizza. I’ve got drinks here.”

Rey giggled on the other end of the line.

“Perfect. I love pizza. Never tired of it. Be over as soon as I can.”

He hung up the phone and realized he was grinning at the metal rectangle.

What sort of domestic nonsense was that?

Ben didn’t think himself a fidgeter, but he couldn’t stop moving as he awaited Rey’s arrival.

He changed into a pair of comfy navy sweats and a black sweater, and then poured himself a drink. The whiskey burned all the way down his throat, and it wasn’t until he’d downed nearly three fingers worth that he remembered the pain killers.

“Shit.”

He rushed to the bathroom to read the bottle, scanning every line.

‘Do not mix with alcohol or heavily caffeinated drinks’ stared back at him, and he swore he could already feel the room spinning.

He moved slowly and carefully to the bed and laid down at once, praying that he wouldn’t pass out.

Loud knocking woke him up from a feverish daze, and he called out,

“It’s open!”

The smell of fresh baked cheese and tomato sauce wafted down the hall and he heard the thump as Rey set the box down in the kitchen before making a beeline to his room.

“Hey…what happened?”

He squinted up at her, and she seemed to be surrounded by a blue glow, not unlike the one she often had in his dreams.

“I fucked up.”

She blinked, and stepped closer,

“What do you mean?”

“You might need to call 911.”

Rey knelt beside him, her hand finding his at once, gripping tightly, but he could hardly feel a thing.

“What are you talking about?”

Ben gritted his teeth, fighting off the urge to sleep.

“I drank some booze, just to calm my nerves, and I totally spaced out. This morning I went to urgent care for my feet, ya know, and they gave me some drugs. Not compatible.”

Rey pressed a hand to her forehead,

“Shit…shit. You think they’ll need to pump your stomach? How much did you drink?”

Ben tried to shrug, but he couldn’t move a muscle anymore. He felt entirely numb, but he was also more scared than he’d ever been in his life.

“I don’t remember. Just do it. Make the call.”

She already had her cellphone in hand, or she was just surrounded by light naturally.

Either way, his eyelids were growing extremely heavy, and the darkness threatened to swallow him whole.

“Ben! Ben hold on!”

That was the last thing he heard Rey shouting before he drifted off into unconsciousness.

*

Rey hated hospitals.

Hated them with a passion no less brighter than the fire of the sun.

Walking up and down hallways that were too garishly lit and smelled like antiseptic and sour milk was not the way she’d pictured the evening playing out.

They had needed to pump his stomach, and she’d been ushered out of the room for that, gladly.

It was bad enough seeing him be strapped to a gurney, wheeled off and unresponsive to any poking or prodding and light flashed in his eyes.

 She’d decided to refrain from calling his mother, or even letting Poe and Finn know where she was. They would just freak out too much, and that by a result would freak her out even more.

She was trying her best to stay calm, to be the rock and answer all the questions the EMT’s directed at her.

The only one that threw her was when they asked how she knew him.

“I’m his…”

The words froze up in her throat, and she wondered what she could say that wouldn’t get back to him.

Friend? Lover? Newly employed by his mother?

“Girlfriend.” Was the term that finally slipped out after too many seconds of silence.

“He’s gonna be fine. Just needs to rest. Don’t have to tell you not to let him do that again, right?”

Rey bit her tongue to keep from protesting she wasn’t his babysitter and instead just nodded.  She couldn’t help but ask,

“Can I go see him?”

The guy nodded.

“Go on.”

Rey didn’t need telling twice.

She rushed into the room, and stopped short at the sight of so many tubes and needles.

She knew it was just to get his fluids back and keep him stable, but it didn’t matter.

The fact he could have gone into a coma did.

“Ben…”

She fell down to her knees beside the bed, reaching for his hand.

“Rey?”

He croaked out, his eyes fluttering open slowly, and she felt her heart clench in her chest.

It was stupid, but the idea that he could have been seriously hurt by a slip up was a bit worrying to her.

Not that she was anywhere near what she’d claimed to be for him…but she did care about him.

“Yeah. How are you feeling?”

He looked like he was trying to shrug, ever the nonchalant dude, but it was probably not a good idea.

“Mmm okay. Now I know better than to carry glass around you.”

Rey hiccupped on a laugh.

“Okay. Only plastic for you.”

Ben frowned,

“Isn’t that horribly un earth friendly?”

Rey nodded,

“But I’ll make the sacrifice for you.”

“Thanks.”  


He looked down at where their hands were entwined.

“Thanks for this too.”

“Of course.”

“It’s probably a weird time to mention it, but my mom wants you to come over for dinner this week, with me.”

Rey felt taken aback for a moment, and then immensely flattered.

“Really?”

“Yeah. She likes you a lot.”

Rey felt his thumb brush over the back of her hand, and her heart skipped a beat at the simple gesture.

“And you? How do you feel about me?”

She watched him carefully, but his eyes never left hers.

He simply blinked before replying,

“Well look at you, getting direct and to the point. Rey, I find myself at a loss for words when I think about you. I don’t want stop. Thinking of you, that is. I really like you. Have for a while. That’s what I needed to tell you. I saw your first protest in front of the firm. I saw the way you led those people. I think I fell in love with you before I even heard your voice.”

Rey’s smart remark to his first sentence died in her throat.

What did he just say?

“Oops. I guess it’s all out there in the open.”

She felt his hand flex over hers, preparing to pull away, and she brought her other one up to stop him.

“No. I mean, that’s…wow. To think I thought you might hate me. I thought I hated you too, before I knew who Kylo Ren really was.”

He smiled faintly,

“I remember. I still have a voicemail from you.”

Rey felt her cheeks heat up.

He’d gotten _that_?

Oh god.

How could he ever take her seriously?

“Sorry about that.”

He shrugged, almost all the way that time.

“No problem. It was just one of the hazards of being a dick sucking and ass kissing jerk.”

Rey let go of his hand to bury her face in hers.

“Oh my god I can’t believe I said that.”

His hand was stroking through her hair, and she was suddenly so tired she could have put her head down on his horrid hospital bed and slept.

“It’s fine. It was true of some of the guys at the firm. Just not me.”

He was smiling, she could hear it.

She lifted her head and looked at him, and made the decision.

They could kick her out if they wanted, she didn’t care.

She climbed into the bed with him, and curled up against his side, putting her arm across his broad chest, as his arms wrapped around her securely.

“Don’t worry. If they come ask you to leave, I’ll just leave with you.”

She smiled into the scratchy hospital gown that he wore,

“Okay.”

He placed a kiss on her forehead, and she felt the press of his lips against her hair.

She succumbed to her exhaustion.

*

Meeting legendary stunt pilot Han Solo pretty much made Rey’s life, and getting to have dinner with him and Leia, sitting across from them and hearing them swap stories was the second best moment of her life.

Well, in truth she had many shining new moments that she could now look back on, without sadness or fear getting in the way.

Ben held her hand under the table and she smiled at what Han had said. Something about how arguing with Leia always led to him losing, so he’d learned when to admit defeat.

For the first time in Rey’s life, there was absolute certainty that the future would be bright.

*

**END**


	15. Epilogue: Pizza Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and sweet, and because i couldn't resist.

The pizza place was buzzing with activity, and Rey blinked, taking it all in for a minute as she waited for Ben to finish parking his car. He’d dropped her off at the front so she could snag them a table, and it had been a wise decision.

Walked to a small table for two in the bar, Rey picked up the menu, studying it as she took her seat. Ben spotted her easily when he walked in, finally, and he smirked.

“You picked the high seats so you could feel tall, right?”

She rolled her eyes, and lowered the menu so he could see it.

“No. It was all they had without a wait.”

“Oh I see.”

He grinned.

“Are you going to get a drink?”

She began, and he shrugged,

“I am thirsty, so I suppose so. Pizza dries one out.”

He winked.

“No! You know what I mean. Alcohol. Do I need to drive us home, is what I’m asking.”

“Oh! Well, it depends what they have…you just want to drive my car. You want to be bad and try out something other than your little hybrid.”

He wiggled his finger at her, and she nearly went cross eyed trying to focus on it.

“No!”

Her protest was half hearted, because he was right. She secretly loved his little sports car, and it seemed to drive like a dream.

“Just admit it.”

He retorted.

She huffed out a sigh and shook her head, just in time for their waitress to show up.

After ordering just a soda, Ben looked at her pointedly.

“Tea please.”

They needed a minute to decide on pizza, so the girl went away.

“You are so stubborn.”

Ben commented.

“You’re just now realizing this?”

Rey snarked back.

He patted her hand, evidently trying to soothe her temper.

“Of course not. I knew what I was getting into.”

She rolled her eyes, and he changed the subject to what pizza they were getting.

Once the food had been ordered and had arrived, in a prompt manner, Rey fell silent, and watched him eat.

She’d only ever shared two other meals with him, one with his family, and then a little picnic lunch on a particularly nice day after her final protest, a mock celebration of sorts.

He’d left his job, gone to work for his mother, and therefore they ended up sharing lunch more than usual. Yet, she got bogged down with paperwork, or he got busy with phone calls, and they could end up missing each other’s breaks most days.

He ate with a serious methodical timing.

She was fascinated watching him, and when he froze, mid-bite, she realized she’d been staring.

“What?”

He looked rather annoyed, and she knew she was blushing.

“Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“About?”

His mouth was still full for a few seconds before he swallowed.

“You’re just… you’re an organized eater.”

One of his dark brows lifted nearly into his bangs,

“Thank you?”

She laughed nervously,

“Oh yeah, it’s a compliment…I guess.”

Ben sighed, and pushed his plate away,

“Rey…what’s going on?”

She blinked, the picture of innocence.

“Nothing.”

“Right.”

“It’s just…we’ve been going out for a month now, but I feel like we’ve hardly seen each other.”

Ben frowned, snagged one of her hands in his, easily dwarfing hers.

“You don’t think?”

“No. It’s like we don’t even work together.”

“Are you saying you miss me?”

She ducked her head, and tried to pull her hand away, but he tightened his grip so she couldn’t,

“No…”

“I think you are.”

He grinned like a loon.

“I do miss your pretty apartment.”

He snorted.

“’Pretty?’ My apartment? I think you’re forgetting the color scheme. It’s very depressing.”

“But you love it.”

He shrugged,

“It suits me, for now.”

“I think you need to look for a new place.” Rey finally said, after a long moment of silence, and much chewing on Ben’s side of the table.

“Do I?”

Rey nodded.

“I want to be able to come over, and have some more space, besides just your room.”

Ben bit his lip, and locked eyes with her.

“Are you suggesting I look for a place we can both live?”

“Yes, is that okay?”

“More than okay. I mean, its sudden, but it feels right.”

Rey smiled back at him, feeling suddenly giddy,

“Okay.”

It was settled.

Ben wasn’t going to ever hate where he laid his head, not on her watch.

 


End file.
